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TTC - To Say or Say Not?

While Trying to Conceive, have you found others (even people you barely know) asking prying questions or offering unsolicited advice? Do you think they mean well and just don't think, or are they being meddling and/or on the rude side? Do you respond, ignore it, brew over it all night...?

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Posted by: hamj11 on Sep 28, 2007
TTC - To Say or Say Not?

Its personnal so quit asking

My husband and I have a 7 yrs old now but we decided to have another baby last year. I got off my pills in Oct. and thought all you have to do is have sex and with BC and you will get pregnant. NOT!!!! We tried and tried and tried but never got pregnant then finally after the time wasn't right due to another family member getting pregnant and taking up our babysitters time with her new bundle we got pregnant in May and found out in June. We didnt tell anyone at the time cause I just wasn't ready yet. Then in August a week after my 3 month check-up I started bleeding and miscarried at 13 weeks I was devasted. Now it is Sept I am in the OK the start trying again and just pray that it doesn't take 8 months like last time. I hear all the time your son is getting so old. Don't wait to long when is it your turn and it just gets to me. I dont tell everyone that we are trying cuz it is a private matter to me. I just want a baby and I wish there was something that could help me move things along.

Overall Relate Rating: 2 Ratings

Posted by: udbe2 on Sep 19, 2007
TTC - To Say or Say Not?

People tell you that you are not actively trying.

I have been ttc for over 14 years. I get asked the question all of the time since I am 34 years old that I should be actively trying to have a kid and what am I waiting on. In my mind I think "whoa I guess going to fertility doctors for the last 10 years, constantly tracking, being stuck with needles isn't actively trying?!" Most people do not think that there are some out there that just have problems conceiving. I had 4 miscarrages and carried only one for two months before loosing it. It does get to me especially when young kids who are on bc not even trying and they get pregnant so easy and they do not think of what type of mental trama they are doing to us when they flaunt it around like it is so easy to have a kid. I have got to the point that I ignore it but it really does hurt at times. I think people should be more sensitive to others and stop asking the question "When are you going to have a kid?" over and over if they don't know you that well to know that you are ttc and having problems. I have never been on bc in my life but the doctors tell me that everything is fine I shouldn't have any problems so mine is an unexplained infertility problem.

Overall Relate Rating: 4 Ratings

Posted by: ProudAFWife on Sep 15, 2007
TTC - To Say or Say Not?

I have heard it all and SEEN it all

I am a Military wife so NOT having children is like so not the thing! I get asked all the time by the other wives and even their children why I dont have children. They aske me all the time whats wrong. Is it me or him? Have we gotten tested? How long? All that stuff. I hear from all of them "if you just stop trying and relax, dont think about it, when you least expect it you will get pregnant" OMG you have children right!!?? You dont have to worry. Also I get the "I'd love to be single again. You have the life" I say to that then give me your kids. Grass is always greener I guess... I try to just say Yep and brush it off till later when people get on the baby kick with me. I guess what upsets me most is watching all my family and friends get pregnant by just fallin on their husbands. They get off the pill two weeks later they are pregnant. I who havent been on BC for almost 2years and have been BD for 16months CANT get pregnant. Leave me alone... I have had enough advice and you rubbing it in my face about your life... Just let me be!

Overall Relate Rating: 8 Ratings

Posted by: auntdee on Sep 4, 2007
TTC - To Say or Say Not?

when is she having a baby?

my sister was married for 9 years b4 she had a baby. after they were married a few years, friends would ask me wasn't she going to have a baby and was something wrong and why were they waiting. i never even asked my sister and figured if she wanted to talk about it she knew where to find me. i would just tell people who asked i didn't know and i never thought to ask and that usually stopped the conversation or i'd say you want her number and you can call and ask! i think people just ask this to make conversation, or maybe some want bad news like there's a problem getting pregnant so they can gossip. for me, i've never asked anyone when they would have a baby. i think it's very personal.

Overall Relate Rating: 6 Ratings

Posted by: jadtina07 on Sep 4, 2007
TTC - To Say or Say Not?

just stop asking!

I didn't get married until last year when I was 30. We were together for 4 years before that and all everyone kept asking was when were we getting married. Finally we did it! It feels like a day later, the question changed to when are you going to have kids? Very Annoying! I usually just say nothing, but last month someone at work who I'm not even that good friends with asks. I just blurted out do you want me to email you over my BD schedule?? She turned red, and hasn't asked since! I guess I already know the next question after we have our first baby...when are we having baby #2.

Overall Relate Rating: 4 Ratings

Posted by: hangininthere on Aug 30, 2007
TTC - To Say or Say Not?

"you are trying too hard"

I am really disappointed in those of our sex who think all you have to do to get pregnant is to sleep in the proximity of a man. That is not how it goes for some of us. I am 34, the proud mother of a 12 y/o son and 10 y/o daughter. I am trying to concieve another child. I have been trying since March '07. Not going to be as easy this time, apparently. The thing that really ruffles my feathers is hearing repeatedly "You are trying too hard. Just forget about it and it will happen." Okay, let me say this in response to that. Fooey! How, at my age and knowing that I was at least twice in my life fertile, am I supposed to not try so hard? I realize I put a lot of pressure on myself, but I am ready. I have been on PNV for 7 months and previous to that, I was on a multivitamen for 1 year. I have stopped taking all my prescription meds and I am eating healthy. I even drink my 6-8 glasses of water daily. I weigh 126 pounds, so I am not dealing with obesity issues. What is the deal here? And instead of helpful, practical advice, or simply minding their own business, I hear, "You are trying too hard."

Overall Relate Rating: 12 Ratings

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