TTC - To Say or Say Not?

I just tell people we will be TTC within a few years....it is a large range and doesn't put the pressure on. Everyone does ask and they don't even know that we have already be pg and lost the baby over the summer. If they only knew.

If I could do it all over again I wouldn't tell anyone that we were TTC. It has been a nightmare. It is difficult enough to deal with your own emotions every cycle let alone having everyone prey, asking are you pregnant....if we were and we wanted to tell you we would...so stop asking. Then you have those that like to track your cycle and tell you when AF will come and when you should get busy. Or you have those that ask if you are and when you tell them no they say you are lying.

Sorry, AF came and it is either cry or vent. Venting is working better right now for me.

It's noone's business but you and your husbands'. What if you don't want kids, or what if you CAN'T have kids? I used to hear this crap ALL the time. When I found out I was expecting, I decided to tell everyone the sooner the better. What if something happens and you don't make it to the 3rd month was a thought, which IS what happened, but I thought, God forbid that were to happen, but at least people would back the hell u pand stop asking. Well, I had a devestating MC and regretted that I told anyone. They did stop asking about when ew would have kids, but even before all this I would tell them, "Well, you know, not everyone can have kids." People should not ask this question, as they don't know squat about a person's health history and even if they did, it's a hands off topic.

At times I would laugh and say"Wow, sounds like you're anxious for one yourself." When I knew I had PCOS, I thought I'd have trouble conceiving, so I would tell people, "no I'm not ready for kids now, I'm happy just how we are. Why ruin your life?" I would say this as a defense mechanism. People that have kids and keep asking you act like you're life is crap until you have kids. Deep dowmn we wanted a baby so bad, so when I would tell them kids ruin your fun life, they would just shut up. It's so hard to want something so bad and you don't want to put yourself on a pity party train for all, so you tend to deal with it inside. So, my point is, people need to back off and not ask. If they do, throw it right back at them.

In my case I ignore this kind of questions and I never respond to this people because I think that TTC is something PRIVATE thats only concern to the couple.

Recently, two co workers made the comment to me (out of the blue) that my husband and I should really work on having a child because at my age (35- oh my!), my 'eggs may start to shrivel.' These two were in the early 20s. I told them, 'that is why I don't like to talk about this issue. It's a private issue between my husband and me.'
It really bothers me when others ask when are we having kids. It may not happen. Please stop asking. I don't feel like telling you that we're 'trying' - to me, that translates to 'we're having sex every chance we get!' I don't ask about your bowel regimen, don't ask about my 'sex schedule.'

Last time we were TTC i had my mum on and on about it all the time. She meant well but it was really frustrating and just added pressure. In the end we told her we'd changed our mind and were going to wait a little while. She stopped then.
Then a month later we found out we were expecting! Unfortunately though it was ectopic and i had a laparoscopy and my left tube removed.
I dont know when we will try again now, ive got too much going on in my head to think sensibly about it now after what happened.
But I do know for sure - when we do decide to try again - i wont be telling any of my friends or family, its just too much extra pressure that isnt needed!