Men, Meet Menstruation!

Do you think we're faking the cramps that we get? The ripping, tearing sensation that razes our muscles in our backs and abs until we cry? Do you think that the constant hunger is within our control to stop and start?Is our irritability really our own to control when our hormones are raging every which-way in our bodies in prep for our Aunt Flo? And the agony of the migrane-esque headaches - do you believe that's a farse?

Lovelies, trust us when we say that we are in pain when PMS rolls around. We are unpredictable when we experience PMS. We go through moods at the speed of light. We think things and experience emotions that are the opposite of what we would normally think and sometimes, we do things that we would never do. Understand that we still love you, but try to comprehend that we need more than just a pill or four to make us feel better. Women need your compassion, even if you don't fully understand what we're going through. Compassion and some TLC is all we need to survive through this monthly ordeal.

Or, if you'd like to experience it yourself: take a rubber mallet and hit yourself repeatedly in the abdomen, right above your bladder until you cry. Take that same mallet and hit yourself on the head until you become dizzy or light headed from the pain. After you hit yourself, go run a mile and walk up and down the stairs for 20 minutes. After that, sit down and eat everything that has salt and sugar in it: pickles, potato chips, chocolate, cookies, ice cream, etc. Drink three gallons of water until you feel squishy. Repeat every month for 8 days for the rest of your life.

Bring me some Midol and a cookie while you're at it and I'll see you on the couch to hear your apology for making fun of us women.

I read (and have told my husband) about SRS, Sperm Reduction Syndrome. It's a period in a man's cycle when his body produces less sperm and tinkers with his moods. Sometimes, he notices that he can't fully get a grip on his mood (a little depressed, sluggish, 'blah', and feels unattractive). He just doesn't feel like going anywhere, doing anything and just can't seem to find anything to wear that doesn't make him look 'fat'! (I'm serious...this really happens about every 2 months as a cycle for him!) When I notice him acting this way, I give him a big hug, and say, "Oh, I'm sorry honey...are you having your man-period? What do you feel like eating? Ice cream, homemade cookies, brownies or McDonald's?" And I cater to his 'craving' and tell him to take it easy....it's okay to feel 'blah' and have a slow paced day.

Another thing I did, I told him I'm going to take him down to the blood bank and have him donate blood for 3 days in a row, give him pills to create alternating constipation and diahreah, make him tweak his back so that hurts, too, fill him full of water so he just feels 'puffy' and bloated, rub his face with oil so he'll break out, shrink all his clothes and make his 'chest' swell and hurt with every bumpy car ride and trek up the stairs, and make him drive behind slow people and hit every red light when he's already late to an appointment (just to give him a taste of the irritations and 'mood' I am in)...and then make him crave brownies..even though he's on a diet. And then I'll tell him in complete stupor, "Is it really that big of a deal..I think you're just making an excuse to lay in bed all day...I see women all the time, they don't seem to go through this."

...pass the brownies now, please! I love my husband...but he just can't know. Every 32 days though, I tell him, "JUST once...I'd like to switch places with you so you will know...."!!!

I'm hesitant in contributing an -answer- since I see some problems in the question. The question seems to presume that because men do not understand a menstrual cycle, they don't appreciate the trial, and thus don't realize the harmful effect of jokes. I often support this stereotype of men. However, posed on here, I realized that many men do understand the menstrual cycle, and whether or not they sympathize is not always dependent on that. Secondly, many men, whether or not they understand it, don't tell hurtful jokes.

I'm not saying this is a bad topic. It sounds great. I know some men who would love it. I just want us to be careful that we don't start forming sexual allegiances and thus stereotyping all men as one united group of "others."

As for the answer, I started tracking my cycle 6 months ago. When my significant other learned along with me what symptoms were not just me being random, but part of my cycle, he gained a lot of appreciation for it.

I'm actually lucky. Even though i have a lot of guy friends, when they think we're kinda crabbier than normal, they actualy ask us if it's that time of the month! If we say it is, they leave us alone, and don't crack a joke. Getting back on point, it's better for them to leave us alone, unless they want to bring us things like chocolate, to make us feel better. It's nice having guy friends that understand, that when you're in pain, you don't really feel like yourself.

Ask them how they'd feel if they had uncontrollable bladder problems for 5-6 days every month. They'd have to wear adult diapers and worry about embarrassing stains and such, but they still wouldn't have the pain, bloating, fatigue and mood swings to go with it.

Period pain is classed as being at least class 2 labour pain. Think about that the next time you make a period 'joke'. Could you go to work, deal with customers and colleagues etc as if nothing was wrong while in this amount of pain? For a solid week? Thought not. This requires a massive amount of mental 'training' and practice, and the comments of men are not helpful, simply wearing this down. And the pain and illness are merely the tip of the iceberg. In a nutshell, you wouldn't think of making jokes about cancer in front of a terminally ill cancer patient who was in agony, so don't make period jokes. It's not the same thing.... it's much much worse. (Oh yes it is, roughly 40 years of agony)