i hope baby comes soon!!

i think that pretty much the worst thing for me is that im a woman who has always taken exceptional care of my body, ive never smoked a cigarrette in my life ( or smoked anything for that matter), i dont drink very much, ive never done drugs, all for fear that i would hurt what god wanted my body to naturally be..so the absolute worst is when i see young girls who constantly do drugs and party and never sleep, and they sleep with some guy they dont even care about and then get pregnant..that hurts so badly because here i am, with a man i love and am spending my life with and we BOTH want a baby very badly and have been trying actively now for 7 months straight and still im not pregnant.

i think its quite possibly the worst thing to hope every month that "this is it, this is the month it will happen" and then you feel those symptoms that you know cant be anything other than pms..and you try and tell yourself its not pms, and then you get your period and it starts all over again next month, and its especially bad on months where your period is even a day late ( mine was this month) because it gives you this crazy, happy, giggly feeling of hope only to be crushed by seeing that first drop of blood.

at this point though im trying to be optimistic even though what i have written doesnt sound so cheery! i saw my doctor and she said that at my age ( 21) that my fiance and i should be pregnant with in a year,counting the 7 months weve already been trying.so i keep telling myself over and over in my head that with 7 months down, there's only 5 to go and 5 months is not a long time! i just keep praying, hoping to god that he and i will be the average just this once and that we will be given the amazing gift of a baby very soon because we would both love it more than anything in the world.