Pregger's blues

Well,

I can sing the 'I cant get preggers blues', I did it all, tempting, ovulation sticks, vitamins, vitex, primrose oil pills (or whatever they are called).

And NOTHING! I can relate to the frustration, depression and sadness of getting a negative after peeing on a pregnancy test stick.

I also became compulsive on reading every little symptom my body had (or I thought it had) as a sign of being pregnant.

I recently had an HSG (dye test to check if your tubes are open) and after thinking there was something definitely wrong with me, it came out that all is good in the baby factory in me. Still have to go thru the hormone blood tests and sperm counts and all that happy crap.

But if you look online for HSG's, all sites say that there is an increased chance of getting pregnant after the test, because they might clean out your tubes and anything sticky that made your little eggs not go where they are supposed to go.

Now, I am compulsively reading fertility blogs and making statistical samples of women (real women with real stories) who had the HSG and got pregnant afterwards, I want to know how soon afterwards, and I want to know their symptoms, I want to know if they were able to carry the baby to terms.

Is this healthy? I am driving myself crazy with this?? (no need to answer since I can tell I am going crazy).

Why has this to be so difficult, you spent your 20's avoiding getting pregnant and then you pray every day in your 30's to get pregnant... isnt that ironic??