live in the now

My first was not planned, actually I was on orthotricyclyn, and taking antibiotics, I did not know that this would reverse the effects. So my boyfriend at the time said ok lets deal with this... five years later I have a beautiful little boy who has started kindergarden this year, I am married to a man who loves us very much... not the father...the bio father decided not to hang around he "wasn't ready", no child support nothing! No happy birthdaycall, you all know the sad story, well now he is married with a new born that he sees everyday, and my husband, someone who has never had a child of his own, and I are still ttc after 2 years what happened there, the point is is that life never seems fair, right? Well thats just it, maybe life isn't fair for somethings, maybe we all get goods and bads, we just have to be thankful for what we can be and hold on to that, I am still looking at the calender everyday and praying every night, but I can't live like this anymore, we need to live in the now (while we keep trying of course!) I don't want to be so depressed from this so i tell myself I won't!