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TTC After M/C
Are you trying to conceive after one or more miscarriages? How long did you (or will you) wait until TTC again? Who or what has been helpful to you during your difficult time: faith, the support of your partner/friends/families (or did you find them unable to relate?), others who you now found out also m/c'd...

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Dealing with loss of 12 week baby.

Posted by: absmunter on Tue Oct 6, 2009

I m/c 8/09 at 12 weeks. Had a D&C. This was my 1st pregnancy; we were/are crushed. I didn't realize I would react that way to the loss. I felt desperately sad, angry, and just plain lost. My husband was supportive, but I did seek the help of a counselor and our pastor who'd also gone through a m/c. Eventually, I was able to do some reading ("Empty Arms", and several other ttc after m/c books) and soul searching. I've come to a place of peace with the loss. It's been helpful to think of our baby, Gus, in heaven with my husband's favorite grandma and all the other loving people we've lost. It gives me great comfort to know they are taking care of our baby, and that s/he will never have to be sick or tired or sad or deal with the bad things of this world. And I've come to believe that as unfortunate as it seems, pain is an inevitable part of life on this Earth. There is no reason m/c happens - no punishment or shortcoming of me, as a mother. It's not personal. It just IS.

It's been 9 weeks since the loss. In the meantime, my body has bounced back, and I have had 2 periods - the 1st 28 days after the D&C, the 2nd 28 days later. I don't think I've ever been that spot on! At any rate, we decided to start trying again right away after my 1st period. Obviously, we did not conceive, but I'd read somewhere that often times one may not ovulate during the 1st cycle after a D&C. I'm not concerned (yet), and we are going to try again. I don't use any opk, but merely track my periods and take an educated guess on when I may ovulate. My family doc said wait 2 cycles, but the gyn surgeon who performed the D&C told me I could try anytime - my body won't allow me to become pregnant if she's not ready! So, husband and I are taking it one day at a time. Events like this have made me realize that our lives are completely out of our control. I have just lifted this up to God and he will give me the strength and patience to trust his plan for me.

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