Trying within days

I JUST got through my miscarriage. It was a frightening time for me. I thought I couldn't have children and went to the Dr. because my "period" was on day 18. We both (Dr. and I) thought it was cysts or hormonal. When the test came back positive- to say I was totally freaked out is an understatement. At this point (due to irregular cycles) I could have been up to sixteen weeks along. Luckily I was not. However, I still felt a deep loss. In a way, though, I feel lucky now. Now I know I can be a mother. My husband also found that he truly does want a child (he's not just OK with being childless anymore). I quit bleeding three days ago. I starting on vitamins and folic acid. I'm eating better and doing some exercise. His job is getting me in the mood. ;) Last night we had sex for the first time. We are ready and are letting my body and God guide this. Was I scared last night? YES. Would I trade jumping in to it with both feet for anything in the world? NO. This baby was not meant to be. My next will be. I have hope in a future that will bring the right blessing into my life. It is still tender to think of the "what if." I love that little twinkle, because I made it regardless of how small it was. But there is nothing that can be done to change that. I know that I can have a hand in the future. I will do my best to conceive and leave the rest up to my body and God.