Frustrated and seeking more patience

So my husband and I never really saw eye to eye when dealing with ttc. I was ready and rearing to go 1 1/2 years ago and he wanted to wait until 2011-2012 to start! Men dont understand how long it could take to even concieve! Well recently he had a drastic change of heart(had to be a miracle from God! haha) and we started about 2 months ago. He wants to be non-chalant about it and I'm now all into tracking my cycles and every little "symptom" is my moment to become obsessed. Im frustrated for many a reasons and I just want to vent. For one my period is confusing and irregular, Im not even sure how long my cycle length truly is and I dont want to miss that key window of ovulation! 2nd I have had such interesting experiences this cycle different from my past cycles. Ive tested on sunday afternoon and of course, a neg. Not sure if its all in my head or if I should waste another test before I miss my feb period or wait? and my final silly fuel for venting is my dear and darling cousin just got married 7 months ago, love her so much. She has always stated no ttc until 2011-2012 (her and my husband should be together! ha) and I'd be on my 2nd by the time she starts. Well of course shes 2 months along now and I must do my best to seem so happy for her an be intersted and involved in all the pregnacy and mommy to be convos my fellow mommy cousins/fiends have and her all about her symptoms and her "I cant believe this is happening, so not planned" shpeel. Ugh what a frustrating time it is ttc. I'll tell ya patience is a true virtue through this whole process!
I wish it would just happen once you actually try but of course life is never that simple.
Well, Wish me luck!