Obsessing, and I know it.

Just needing to process, since my DH is probably sick of it by now! I hope you ladies understand. :]

I have been off BC for 6 mo. I got my hopes up in July when I was SURE I was pregnant. I had "implantation" spotting & I was showing blatant signs (backache, nausea, swollen breasts, crazy headaches, and moodiness galore) After my DH told some friends I might be I got 2 BFNs. :( Jynx? Now I have a journal that is irrational from then to now on every little sign/symptom.
ie: 8/13: super drool.Me, not the baby. 8/18: Cant stop thinking about DH telling me last night that I was pregnant bc I had a bulge on the R side of my tummy and not the L. Thanks. I NEED A BFP!!

Yeah.
I had to buy PreggiePops for nausea. So I took 3 more tests.. and got 3 BFNs. I was on CD41 when AF decided to show up. After doing some math that was 29 days after "implantation".. just a botched cycle? Ive never had 2 AFs in the same month/15 days apart! AF stayed for 5 days, normal, but I couldn't use normal tampons-sorry TMI. Got 2 days past AF and decided that since my fam has a history of AF in pregnancy, I'd take a digi. I got a "Not Pregnant" and took out the test strip- and saw 2 lines! All excited, I pulled my DH in to see- and he couldn't see the 2nd line as well as I could. I was still holding that I might be until, boom, peeonastick.com told me that digis test LH as well and THAT's what showed up. AGH!

Anyone else feel absolutely insane? I can't eat cheese or meat, can't poo, can't even pull myself out of bed some days, have eaten pickles and peanut butter, and yet tests say I'm NOT pregnant?? Every time I get a BFN I just want to grab DH's cigs or beer and go at it. I feel like crying, or beating the wall. I try to play it off as no big deal, but inside I am so desperately confused... Any similar stories would be comforting, so at least I know I'm not the only baby-crazed, hpt-obsessed woman out there.