Conception Frustration is an understatement

I guess i need to vent more than anything, here i am on cycle day 46, my cycle was meant to start on the 31st on adverage according to mymonthlycycles my cycle is 38 days.. so yep im late....the weeks before i had cramps from the 21st that have only just stopped...so i was all excited thinking this month is it!!! but no 2 BFN's the 2nd one this morning...i didnt want to tell my partner as we have been trying to do this for sometime now but i did and was heart broken at the disapointment in his eyes even though he smiled and said its ok...i have reached the point of giving up or at least taking a break i prayed so hard this month for it to happen and as it hasn't i just feel fed up and ready to let go....i told my partner that we need to at least take a break because i dont think that i can do this anymore...i admire many of the women on here who keep trying month after month...i dont know how you do it and wish you all well....i havent cried as i think im all cried out im just sad now and thinking about how to move on...i told my bf i think im going to learn how to knit to take my mind off of it lol so any baby booties or winter hats needed feel free to let me know lol ...seriously i wish i felt differently and any advice to assist in reigniting the hope and faith needed to continue would be much appreciated.. in the meantime i will wait for af to show (boooooo) but much blessings and baby dust, luck and all the other stuff that may help you all reach your dream xxx