Stupid period, how I hate you so!

OMGoodness, where do I begin? I seriously hate the cramping. It gets so intense that it shoots through my hips down to my knees. I end up taking ALOT of Tylenol or Aleve for it but anymore it barely makes a dent in the pain. Then there's the bleeding. Nothing better than having to wear a jumbo tampon and xtralong pad b/c day 2 and 3 are super heavy, reminiscent of a horror movie. Also, I refuse to wear pants that're anything lighter than a shade of black in case I leak. I've have a period since I was 12 and even now, after 17 yrs of it, I still get just as anxious about it as I did when I first started - What if it gets on my clothes? - What if I start early and don't have anything with me? Plus I hate having to use that much more t.p. However, since my DH and I are TTC, just getting a period makes me feel like such a failure.