Plain confused and need hope...

I'm 37yrs old, married for 11 years with 2 kiddos of my own and a stepdaughter. We have had 5 m/c in the past 10 years since our daughter was born and I'm thoroughly confused right now. Maybe someone can give some insight.

December 1st LMP
BD'ed on December 9, 10, 13, 14, 15, 16, 24, 25
Spotting 2 dots of red blood on the tp 12/22
"Not Quite" Spotting--as it never reached my pad or the tp--was only there when I checked my cp and cm 12/28 (pinkish thick cm/later brownish thick cm/ last check of the day yellowish thick cm; 12/29 (pinkish-brownish not-as-thick cm; 12/30 (brownish to almost not there and not as thick cm); 12/31 (no pink or brown or yellow tint to the cm)
CP Was high to very high and unreachable all the way to 12/25 and then on 12/26 it went low and never felt open.
To date has been low to mid range/closed/cm is whitish in color and not a lot of it either.
Hpts taken have shown BFN taken quite a lot of them too as my cycles range from 30-32 days and the longest being 36.
I have days where I'm nauseas periodically but not consistant; fatigue comes and goes; hunger comes and goes. Breasts were extremely sore and painful the weekend of the 24th and 25th and then that pain went away. They appear bigger but do not hurt. I can't go right now for a blood test and wonder if I'm not just perimenopausal due to my age and maybe I should give up ttc all together.
Supplements used this time around--Omega 3-6-9 with EPO(low dose); 28 mg of iron; and 81 mg of baby aspirin up until the time I thought I had ovulated (12/15) and then I switched to just taking my baby aspirin, Prenatal vitamins and DHA supplement.
If anyone has gone through something similiar and was indeed pg--please share. Taking my LAST (absolutely last) hpt in the morning which by a 36 day cycle--AF should be due although by my calendar AF should have arrived to day as it always arrives on the day whether it be day 30,31,32 (later or earlier cycles used to be 28 days)
Thanks in Advance!