BabyBlues

I'm not sure what phase I'm in. My husband and I have been having unprotected sex since 3 months AFTER we got together. Even though we both want a baby very much, originally we decided we weren't trying but we "weren't not trying". We decided if it happened it was meant to be. This past January 2014 was when we both made the realization we hadn't conceived in the past year and decided it was time to track my ovulation because we know that plays a huge role in conception. So last month (Feb 2014) I kept track of my ovulation and decided to really try to conceive. My last period started on the 29th of January. Here it is March 7th and I still haven't had a period. You'd think I would be excited right? Well I'm actually dreading being let down and not being pregnant. You see...my cycles have been irregular my whole life, and my average cycle is 35 days currently. My period is about 4 days late. I've already taken a pregnancy test and it came back negative but I read that it may be too early yet for an HPT to detect pregnancy because my level may be too low yet. I know what you must be thinking she doesn't have anything to worry about...or I haven't been trying long but.....I'm also 24, at my most fertile stage of life(according to doctors) and the women in my family are VERY fertile. My mom had 6 kids starting at age 22. Then my sister became a teen mom at 16 and got pregnant again at 17. This is the first time in a long time where I really feel like there's a strong chance I am pregnant....I'm dreading on taking another pregnancy test. I'm starting to worry I can't get pregnant at all, and I've been really sad the last few days because even though the test said negative and its been 38 days since my last cycle and still no cycle(which is good)...I'm still so scared that I'm not. I don't want to be let down again either. So you aren't alone dear. I'm sorry if this doesn't help you. I just figured we both want the same thing so I could vent safely.