Going Through the Motions

Hi, hopefully im in the right place......but ive been considering TTC for a few months now, i have a soon to be 14 yr whom i had at 17, got pregnant with him the very first time ever having sex with his Father. Never got pregnant again until 2008 during that time id thought i couldnt have any more children seeing as to how it never happened again. Well 2008s pregnancy resulted in an ectopic that almost killed me LITERALLY. Was in the ICU for 9 days and my first day of being admitted through the Emergency Room my Mother was called to get there RIGHT NOW i had less than an hour to live....Yes it was that bad!!

Well long story short I survived, in 2009 went through IVF which was very successful first time around and I gave birth to two healthy Baby Boys who are now 4 years old. Currently im not financially in the position to go through IVF at this time (paid in cash first time) but i do want another child. I have 3 boys and want a daughter so bad, sad to say 60 days after my ectopic in 2008 my Mother passed away at 46, so since then ive just been wanting a daughter to name after her.....weird huh??

But I only have one tube due to the ruptured ectopic and im scared to TTC naturally, thats why i did the IVF in the first place. doctors say that i can still get pregnant naturally with one tube but idk just feeling a way about it **sighs** scared to try because of the risk of another ectopic but then dont want to try and it doesnt happen. I have also been taking Maca pills since February they are said to help with Fertility, but i havent been trying to get pregnant during this time, id been taking the pills for another reason. dont really have any friends to talk to about this so i brought it here.......Thanks for Listening