Men, Meet Menstruation!

I made my hubby read about it on line. Ofcourse it basically said what I had been telling him for years. Anyway, he's more understanding and patient now. I mark it on the calendar so now he knows what coming and when!!

Hi Guys. So, What can I say to make you men understand what women go through durring our periods.

Its 3am you can't sleep, you've got to be up again at 8am you keep tossing and turning. Your stomach feels like a hot air balloon in a washing machine and that some invisible hand is squeezing your ... Thats just the night before your period... The Morning arrives with a flood, not even noahs arc could save this one. You get up and find the closest thing to a nappy you can find to hold it back or a miniture versian of a rocket, from escaping into your clothes; then head off to work. Oh mustn't forget the unexplanable moodswings, crying, shouting. Now imagine this for the next 5-7 days, if you want to help someone durring this time, then bring us plenty of chocolate.

From a woman with her *delightful* period.

Imagine if you will waking up in the morning and feeling like you've spent the night with your back, head and abdomen under a HUGE rock... and then imagine that you've sat in a puddle and no matter how hard you try or how ofter you change your pants you cant get that comfortable dry feeling. Spend the entire day feeling like all you want to do is lay on the floor and eat... and not eat little things like apples, but things like chocolate, chrisps, cheese and other very fatty things... try imagining putting up with this for a whole week non-stop, with no break, not even when you are asleep.. That my lovely gents is menstration... It is not enjoyable and it is definitely not the highlight of the month.. but its not a curse more of a blessing, because knowing that all of this builds up and eventually you will welcome this pain in the hopes of one day having a child..

Ever drink way way (WAY) toooooo much? Maybe start the night with 3 or 4 or 5 beers, mix in a few shots and then when the munchies set in, your drinking buddy has the brilliant idea to order up hot dogs sky high with onions and pickle relish.... and a big side dish of baked BEANS. Now you're totally stuffed... time for another round...

Flip forward to next day. Head aches? Everything aches? Stomach's really out of sorts? Whoa, and those beans are really having an effect. OUCH. And now you're stuck in some boring meeting over whether the company should have its summer picnic with none other than hot dogs and sausages and onions and noooooooo don't say BEANS. All you want is to go home and crawl into bed...

Yeah, very much like the feeling of a VERY bloated, crampy, achy period day. So next time you tie one on, toast the sisterhood.

Dearest Gentlemen,

It has come to my attention that you may not be able to understand the joys of menstruation. I would like to attempt to assist you with this problem as efficiently and adequately as possible today.

First, you must imbibe approximately 64 oz of water every 6 hours. No exceptions. Wake up, if you're asleep, to fill back up. Then, turn the temperature in whatever environment you inhabit to a ridiculous extreme, preferably 85 degrees, but 40 degrees will also work. Then take a mallet and continuously slam it into your abdomen, head and back for approximately 3 days. You have just begun PMS.

When those three days are complete, take two to three pairs of tube socks and lay them flat in your underwear, not the way you usually wear them to suggest your superior manliness. Now at this time, for 5-7 days, repeatedly take a cup of water and dump it onto the tube socks. Do not change them out right away, but drive to the nearest public restroom and do it there.

Finally, during this lovely display of support you are showing the sisterhood, spend each and every one of those days attempting to be kind, gracious and patient with your wife/girlfriend/mother/sister/co-worker/cashier while she smiles indulgently, tells you to relax because this is your lot in life, and tries to become intimate.

Wait 28, then repeat. For the rest of your life.

Bless you all for being ever so condescending and impatient during this special time of the month.

Dear Men,

I'd like you to know that my period:

- is not a disease. You won't get cooties or anything

- is not a curse. To the contrary. When trying not to conceive, it's a joy to receive! When TTC, well, not good, but hope for the coming cycle.

- is not funny. Cramps hurt. What, oh what, is amusing about that?

Sincerely, Lady w/ a period