TTC - To Say or Say Not?

Well, I want to ttc but my husband doesnt want to. I really do not know what to do. Sometimes i fell like just doing it and not telling him and then once we are then we are. We really arent doing anything to prevent it anyways. Just the other morning i was getting small cramps and felt sick but i stll have a week till my period. even thought that could be the reason my husband was asking me if i was pregnant. I really wish i am but im not to sure if i am. I just want a baby so bad but i want my husband to be involved. Then i see all these babies at church and at the store it makes me want a baby even more. well, i donno maybe i can bring it up to my husband. I mean, i still have time and im still a newly wed. Sooo... i gues I COULD wait if i have to!

My husband and I have decided to ttc in July for our first baby. It's taken us YEARS of planning to decide on a month and year, so this is really special for us. I HATE when our friends ask us when we're gonna start trying and why have we waited so long. We waited so we could buy a house, buy 2 cars, and become more stable as a newly married couple. We didn't want to throw a child in the mix if we weren't fully stable, but it seems like my friends don't understand that at all. They're having kids like it's going outta style and now they can't take care of themselves. It's hard hearing advice from people that can't even support themselves, so I just let it come in one ear and out the other. We haven't told anybody that we plan on TTC in July, so for now I'll just grit my teeth and bare it.

WOW! I was reading some of the posts, I can relate to alot of you. my husband and I are trying, but not. We aren't doing anything to stop a pregnancy. I have a friend that suggested standing on my head, another suggested every other day. Who has the energy for every other day? When we were really, trully nearly every other day, we started bickering and it became work. At the first sign of illness, nausea, stress, "are you preg?" Now I don't know if we are trying or not, we do but we aren't regular. If that makes any sense what so ever!

My husband and I got married and decided that we wanted to wait a couple years to have children. Both families and all of our friends would constantly ask us "When are you having a baby?". If we told them that we were trying to become more financially stable before we had a child, we were told - "If you're worried about money, you'll never be ready for kids". It use to really get under our skin.
We decided that we were ready, and starting TTC in May 2006. We didn't tell anyone that we were trying for a while. About 8 months after we started trying, My mother asked us when we were going to start trying. My husband told her that we had been trying for a while - and that he was worried something might be wrong. We decided at that point to let folks know that we were trying. Here we are now - 2 years later and still no baby. We started seeing a reproductive endocrologist, and now we get all the infertility questions. Some folks trying to be helpful tell me story about the lady who "relaxed" and had a baby. Others ask questions of a more personal nature.
Probably the worst I've felt was at my Grandmothers funeral. All of her friends, and several people whom I havn't seen in several years came to pay their respects. While it was nice to see them- the pain of losing my grandmother was made worse that night by all the awkward questions I had to answer from these people. "How Many Children do you have now?","Don't you want kids?", "You better get started, you're not staying young forever." - and the comment that hurt the worst "So your grandmother didn't have any great-grandchildren?".
I don't know if it's better to tell or not to tell ... When they found out that we were having problems conceiving - alot of the questions stopped ...but those that we do get - are much more personal. I don't think there is a good answer honestly. I'm thankful for those who know how hard we're trying- and offer a sympatheic ear when we need it.

I have a great freiend that i work with that is also trying to conceive, and one that just found out she was pregnant after ttc. Alot of ppl around us always say "just let it happen",and "don't stress about it". we both just look to each other for advice and support.She has been trying longer than me, but we are now both in our 2ww.

We were "trying but not trying" for over a year, slowly, near the end of that we began to admit to friends and family that we were "trying" to get pregnant. I think it took us that long to admit it to ourselves. I guess I never thought I would have to "try" hard. Now, after about 16 months, our families know and we are telling friends. For me especially, it has grown just to hard to pretend everything is okay when some days it's not.

When we first talked about it with one "helpful" older friend who herself got pregnant twice by accident while on birth control, she told me several times about how her friend stood on her head after and that it worked to get her pregnant. The first time she told me I took it in stride, the second time I really didn't want to hear it. The third... I just got quiet and fumed. My husband heard the fourth time she said it and he shut her down (he knows that as the months drag on, I just can't hear this kind of advice).

My other "favorite" stories about to say or not to say has to do with cashiers in grocery and drug stores. The first time I bought a pregnancy test a cashier (who could have been about my Mom's age) wished me good luck when I bought the test. This was during our "trying but not trying" phase. I think she meant well, but I felt a bit irritated by her doing that. How was she to know that I would be happy about the baby. Likewise, just last month, while buying prenatal vitamins, a younger cashier congratulated me on expecting. Blushing, as the rest of the people in the line heard me say that I'm not and I tried to explain to this woman that my doctor had said you should take the vitamins even before you get pregnant. This (of course) put her on track to talk about whether or not she wants kids. All I wanted to do was get out of there and end this conversation.